Fake Marriage

Fake Marriage 

 “I never thought this could happen to me… divorce was always something that happened to other people, but now that I’m about to get one, I feel abused by marriage… all these years seem like a total waste of my time and effort. I don’t love him and when I look back, I think I never did.” This was a young woman, a Christian, a mother, and now an ex-wife.

Divorce is now the most common thing in society. It leaves a bad scar on all parties involved, especially the children. Many of these children grow up thinking marriage is a fake institution and who can blame them when the people you love most fail you? "What went wrong?" is the most asked question after a divorce. Although there could be tons of reasons, one is most common: You got married for the wrong reason. That’s all!

If you start doing anything for the wrong reason, you know it won’t work. Take diets for example. If you go on a diet because you feel pressure to be as beautiful as so-and-so, you know your diet won’t work A diet only works when you do it for yourself and when you commit to it because you know it’ll be good for you. Any other reason to diet is wrong.
 
The same applies to marriage. Many young women get married just so they can leave their parents’ home. They want to have their own life, raise their own family, and feel independent, and respected. And marriage is the fastest ticket there. They tell themselves that with time, they’ll fall in love with their husband. But time only makes them colder.
 
Other women get married because they don’t want to be alone. They find it hard watching other couples holding hands while they’re buying single cinema tickets. How can you book a table reservation for one at a plush restaurant? 
 
There are women who get married so that he can fill their empty space, only to find out later that this space cannot be filled with a husband.
 
Let’s not forget about those who get married because they’re getting old… they’re afraid of becoming an "auntie" so settle for the first man who comes; after all, they’re not at an age to be picky anymore (so they think). And then they feel too old to divorce and so live by pushing that marriage forward.
 
If you want to get married, do it for the right reasons. Do it for what marriage truly stands for. If I could say what marriage is all about, I’d say it’s about giving. This single definition can give you a preview of what your marriage will become with time. It’s not about taking or getting something out of it. It’s about giving. You marry because you want to give yourself to that person. You want to make him happy and fulfilled. You want to add to his life and not take away from it.

When we love someone to the point of giving our life to him, we have no problem making all the right adjustments for the marriage to work. You do whatever it takes because you love him. This is real marriage, everything else is fake.